Before I go ahead, I have to confess that I have developed an immortal fear of the chiclit (or chicklit) genre – having acquired over a dozen half read, author signed copies – can’t keep, can’t sell, can’t gift!  Not a fan of the genre and add to it my distaste for gruesome murder mysteries – But having read the book, I can safely say I throughly enjoyed it – more than paisa vasool!

Did you know that India has among the highest attrition rates when it comes to women in the workforce? Statistics show that nearly 50% of all women drop out of work between lower and middle management.

Kiran Manral (author) and Natasha Badhwar (film maker) joined by Anita Vasudeva (co-founder, Fleximoms) shared their perspectives on women, working flex and the leaking pipeline as more and more women are choosing to leave the formal workforce at an event organized by Westland Publishers and supported by Fleximoms.

The conversation began with a discussion of Kiran’s new book, ‘The Reluctant Detective” the story of a thirty something suburban housewife with a young son, much like Kiran herself, who teams up with her detective friend in a half-hearted attempt to find the murderer when a clutch of corpses turn up in her neighborhood. Here, the author and her protagonist part company – Kiran talks about Kay Mehra, the unlikely heroine, as representing an entire generation of women who are entirely without purpose, focused solely on themselves and what they can do to fill their time. ‘Not having a plan is scary’, Kay says to herself at one point in the book, acknowledging on some level that she should be doing more with her life. Kiran in her breezy, lighthearted and humorous style, in fact touches upon issues we’d all like to talk about – what is it that is making Indian women leave the workforce or fail to return after taking time off to have children and start families?

Many of those present agreed that where there are no financial compulsions, women prefer to stay away from full time work – they fall into a sort of comfort zone where all their needs are being taken care off, and they don’t need to worry about money. Even though for many women, there is a loss of purpose and a vague discontent – they know something is missing, few have the drive to step out and do something about it.

Others felt that a lack of confidence arising from being away from the workplace was also to blame. Women defer going back to work because they have not stayed in touch or upgraded their skills. Many feel they will not be able to compete with younger peers in terms of energy, efficiency and skill set. These are women who have taken a break from work without thought on how they will return when they’re ready.

Also, although the workplace is changing rapidly and there are visible shifts in mindsets and thinking, it still does not support the need for women to structure their work around their families, children or any other care-giving roles they may have. Cultural conditioning precludes women from leaving young children to go to work. But even as mindsets shift, a lack of support systems – as modern life becomes increasingly insecure, families become nuclear and in the face of feeble spousal support, women are unable to leave their children in relative security and go out to work. Kiran was of the opinion that this was likely to change only if we bring up the next generation differently, redefining gender roles and social mores for our children.

Everyone agreed that transitioning from full time work to flex was hard. Natasha shared her struggle with feelings of loss of identity and status when she gave up full time work. She said she had to push to reinvent herself and recreate her identity from scratch even though she continued to work free-lance without a break. Another member of the audience talked about how not having a visiting card was somehow symbolic to her of the loss of identity that accompanied her stopping full time work. So stopping work was associated in all cases with a loss in identity and status and with feelings of destabilization and rudderlessness. It seemed, Anita said, that giving up work might actually be a fearless Step for women to take.

But, while society is losing out on this potential fountain of creativity, women are the losers as well. Women cannot disown the marketplace by saying that if they don’t need us we don’t need them either. They must push to change patterns and innovate so that their needs can be met within existing structures.

Anita said that after having interacted with more than a 100,000 women in the context of the workplace, she believed that women must be harder on themselves – Women don’t realize what they have to give up to get what they want. It is important to remember that the workplace hires for skill, negotiating for flexibility comes later. Which means that women must stay in touch with appropriate networks, constantly upgrade their skills and bring a sense of commitment to their work, irrespective of format – a non-negotiable approach to work. Only then can women start the conversation about flexibility / work formats that are better suited to their lives and roles in society.

You can catch the video on our Facebook page.

Blissfully sans newspaper and Internet during my 4 days at the Jaipur Literary Festival, I was taken aback on my return to find that almost every media report on the festival was confined to Salman Rushdie and his controversial no-show at the event. The only other celebrity to have merited column space of her own was Oprah Winfrey, ironically visiting the festival as a non-author.

For those who weren’t there, the festival, this year was imbued with a streak of infectious rebellion as writers stood up to read from the Satanic Verses at various public places in solidarity with Rushdie who was forced to cancel his visit to India due to an alleged terrorist threat on his life. And when those who dared were made to leave Jaipur – under threat of arrest for reading from a banned book, others made their support perfectly clear by reading from Rushdie’s other less controversial works and holding spontaneous debates on the “Right to Freedom of Speech and Expression”.

Rahul Bose, for one, admitted to googling the term on his phone, while in session. He then proceeded to solemnly read out its definition; first to a painfully silent audience and finally to thunderous applause. In another session titled “Shehar aur Sapna”, The City of a Dream, Rabi Thapa – a young debut novelist from Nepal pointedly read from Haroun and the Sea of Stories –of the city of Bezubaan, where no one was allowed to speak, by royal decree.

There were also those who agreed to disagree – one of them, Chetan Bhagat notably declared”….let us not make heroes out of banned authors.”

But as the 30,000 delegates from virtually every country in the world went about the business of the festival, attending sessions, workshops and conferences and buying Rushdie’s books by the dozen (the bookshop was sold out by day 2), irrespective of threats of violence and intimidation, it became amply clear – that freedom had won.

Sometimes I wonder if the press was the same festival I was. And if they were, how they could possibly miss the prodigious talent, the inventive thought, the sheer exhilarating wonderfulness of writers across borders, disciplines and cultures talking to each other, sharing ideas and experiences. And instead, focus on the one thing all present were intent on banishing – the politics.

Come January and the gyms are full of people trying to get back in shape and lose weight after the Christmas holidays. We all know how successful those people are going to be! But for success at work, you should set resolutions and keep them. No membership fee required!

You may have already decided to change jobs. Perhaps you’re already talking to recruitment consultants. Or, if your goal isn’t to get out of the door as soon as possible, then maybe you’d rather take stock of your current position and decide how to improve it. Other common new year resolutions include learning a new skill or revising an old resume.

But how can you make sure you stick to your goals? Here are five things you can do to help yourself keep your career resolutions past January and well into the new year.

1. Make a Plan
Instead of making a resolution on a whim and then forgetting about it the very next day, consider your resolution carefully and then plan what steps you will take through the year to accomplish it. Also think of possible setbacks and prepare for how to deal with them.

2. Motivation Matters
If you can’t remember why a goal is important, chances are you will drop it. Clarify to yourself exactly why this resolution is important and how it will make your career better in 2012 than it was in 2011

3. Set Specific Goals
Instead of setting a goal such as “change my career”, think of something more concrete and manageable such as “go to at least 5 interviews by June”. Or, break large goals into smaller short term goals so that you aren’t taking on too much too soon.

4. Create a To-Do List
Make sure you’re career resolutions don’t fall victim to your busy day to day life by writing down a goal to-do list. Even if a goal isn’t achieved in the time originally intended, keep it on your list until it is.

5. Reward Yourself
Even if you haven’t achieved your goal just yet, acknowledge and celebrate the little successes along the way. Go out for dinner with friends and family or treat yourself to a massage. Plan the rewards in advance to motivate you over the finish line.

Amit Wilson, entrepreneur, founder StoreMore, flexidad, Anita Vasudeva, Fleximoms, Divita Kanoria, Tatha

Amit Wilson, an entrepreneur, founder Storemore (www.storemore.in) and a flexidad, shared his perspectives on choices, order and chaos in an event hosted by Fleximoms. In a room full of fleximoms, Amit was brave enough to share his experiences and learnings candidly. We share some of the conversation with you. You can catch the pictures on our facebook page - www.facebook.com/fleximoms

Here is a short video:

We begin the year on a reflective note about something that concerns all of us and deeply drives us at Fleximoms – the question of choices. How each choice we make adds to the order or chaos.

Living the Choices

A Fleximoms Community member shares her personal experience on the lookout for work-flex options.

Thank you for being part of the conversation and action Nishi! You rock girl!

This is what Nishi has to say:

While I am yet to attend the 2nd Chance Program, your chai- meet (community meet) has been inspiring and has given me sense of community feeling, hence thought I could share my experience with you all.

Here goes……

Perseverance pays. One had heard this adage numerous times before, but today I reiterate the same. If you are wondering what is so special about today, well, after weeks of knocking on doors of various employers, looking for a reduced work hours, today things finally fell into place.

Post leaving my last job as a contributing writer for an established retail magazine, I can say it was no cake-walk trying to find a suitable work-from home, or reduced work hours job. Most employers who liked my CV and called me for an interview, were only looking for full-time workers, and, balked at the idea of reduced work hours / work from home options.

To say I was de-moralised was an understatement. There were times I felt my years of work in multiple industries and also as a retail business writer, just did not seem to count! I was made to feel guilty and had to explain almost at every interview I attended, as to why I was not open to full-time work options. Most employers’ expression used to say, “If you are looking for reduced hours without much of a valid reason, then you are not serious about working. It is more of a time-pass for you”.  It was damaging my morale all right!

But, I trudged along in fond hope! While I am an optimist, there were days I felt extremely crushed. A dear friend helped me to keep my morale high. Girlfriends help as a safety net, to keep one’s sanity intact. I utilized my free-time to travel, to see and experience new places. Travel helped me to relax and I stopped fretting and being edgy and negative. The proof of that was that when I was called for an interview, I was relaxed and was able to be a natural in front of the interviewer. Guess it helped, since inspite of the requirement being for a full-time work position the employer was willing to look at reduced work hours and work-from-home. The employer in this case happens to be a start-up, so unlike an established player was willing to push the envelope.

So, my advice dear friends looking for flexible work options is that, be persistent and keep the stars in your eyes. When you feel down in the dumps, try and switch off and indulge in a leisure activity, which one is not able to for lack of time. Also, be honest and upfront of the time you can devote on the work involved. You never know, looking at your positive, clear attitude, the employer may just be willing to explore an option, which he had not thought of before.

The ability to communicate clearly and confidently can do much to advance our careers. This is the first thing we learn when we start to work – to share information effectively, manage expectations, define boundaries and most often to protect ourselves by not committing or giving away too much.

Yet, women have a tendency to use weak and minimizing language that undermines their ability to present themselves with authority and confidence in the workplace. The worst offenders – meaningless qualifiers such as “Just”, “Only and “Sort of” and weak phrases such as “I think” or “I feel” that attach themselves to the beginning and ends of sentences making their speakers sound uncertain and seeking reassurance.

How many times do you start a conversation with, ”I just want to say” or an email with “just to let you know…” ? It’s a word that I use all the time and now I know that it is unnecessary, means nothing and makes me sound like I just don’t think much of myself!

I work in a lively open plan office. We talk to each other across our desks, phones ring incessantly and when a conversation looks like it might involve more than two people we simply migrate to a glass table at the corner of the room. It works – but occasionally when I have a deadline I will walk to the coffee shop downstairs to work in peace and quiet. Yesterday as I made to leave the office, my boss turned to look at me enquiringly. “I’m sorry” I heard myself say, “I think I need to go down to the coffee shop, I just can’t concentrate here.” There, I’d done it. By using two unnecessary words – just and sorry, I had minimized my commitment to my job and apologized for having no attention span, all in the space of two sentences.

In a piece in the Harvard Business Review http://bit.ly/cs23NT, Jerry Weissman talks about how replacing the weak, meaningless words “I think”, “I believe”, and “I feel”, for stronger options such as “I’m confident”, “I’m convinced” and “I expect” can make a significant difference to how our message is perceived .

In their article, 8 Tips for Fearless Communication in the Workplace,http://bit.ly/cs23NT authors Victoria Simon, PhD, and Holly Pedersen, PhD say that adding tag lines at the ends of sentences weakens the statement being made as well as the authority of the speaker. Examples of these are: “This is a great angle, don’t you think?” and “Our department is doing well, isn’t it?” It communicates that the speaker is not completely confident and so must ask for reassurance.

In conclusion, the goal of communication is to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas, clearly and fearlessly – not to win others’ approval. Ultimately, being true to yourself without being overly concerned about who will (or will not) like you, will earn you greater respect and success in the workplace.

Women have made substantial gains at the workplace in recent decades.

But the biggest challenge for the Indian working woman continues to be finding an effective balance between work and home.

Most women are forced to make a choice between work and family at a certain stage of their lives. Some give up well-established careers in response to societal pressures to conform to gender roles as homemakers and caregivers. Others are forced out of the highly competitive workplace, unable to cope with traditional full time employment along with the demands of home, spouse and growing children.

Now, Indian companies are increasingly adopting sensitive human resource policies to increase the hiring and retention of women employees at the workplace. Initiatives such as flexible work hours, maternity leave and work from home options are enabling women to keep their jobs and to juggle multiple roles with greater efficiency and ease. Some companies have gone as far as to set up child care facilities for their female employees, a significant incentive to encourage more mothers to either stay or return to work after childbirth. As the number of women working at SMEs and large companies increases, companies are also implementing strong policies to prevent sexual harassment, to protect the dignity of women as well as to help them feel secure and comfortable in the workplace. (http://bit.ly/tVf4Ej)

Changes like these come at a price, but there are business advantages to them. Research has shown that companies with a higher number of women at senior positions tend to perform better financially. Hiring and retaining women at all levels also helps to enlarge the pool of talent at a time when shortages are appearing throughout industries.

If anything, today’s communications technology has made the case for flexible work hours more compelling. As long as the deliverables are clear and the women are performing there is every reason to encourage equitable and flexible work practices. (http://bit.ly/ejGZv7)

The benefits, important as they are, are not just for women, because gains in productivity and well-being accrue to the family and in the long term contribute to the nation as a whole.